Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

And the sadness?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Adults with ADHD face long-term social and economic challenges, study finds — even with medication - PsyPost

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Why am I dreaming of people I've never seen before?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Volcano Found Hiding 'In Plain Sight' Right Next to NASA Mars Rover - ScienceAlert

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

How conservative the Japanese people really is? And the government?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Did you know God exists? 900+ answers later and no atheist has yet to be successful. Day 8 of asking Atheists to provide a SINGLE argument that demonstrates a cause for the beginning of the universe while avoiding the problem of infinite regression.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I had run out of hope.

Which spiritual Baba is the richest in India?

Be who you already are.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I was tired of fighting.

Are miracles real or do they just have natural explanations?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are like me, then.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

The 'Japanese Walking' Fitness Trend Has Science-Backed Benefits - ScienceAlert

It’s here now, writing to you.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

The sadness was still there.

WA woman sues hospital system after painful recovery; nurse may have stolen her meds - The Seattle Times

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s still here.